i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . . i ruined my blog! . .

that was soo0o0o ANNOYING!!. . it's sO cRAp!!. . ! dUh!!.. i hAte it!

sch0ol sched has been so hectic and really busy! oh dear.. first week of scho0l n expect l0ads of h0mew0rk..damn it!.. i wanna give up my IT less0ns..i d0nt wanna d0 it!!.. ewwww.. hate it!!.. i d0nt likemy classmates!! geesuz they'relike supahgeeks!!!!!!!.. arrrggh.. im sleepy..

whoa..! everything in me was shaking!!. ahahaahaha!!.. well.. i met friends..yeah.. laura and imee, but i reckon that they're are not vry friendly people..really.. s0metimes, i felt bein ignored by them,, but then..its ok..c0z i kn0w they kn0w im new n dey hav frens to0..and then i met Marin ..she's great..!.. and then Kyle..she's good to0! she fund my tr0users and sh0es cool! and i was like wh0a..!! thanx!! haha.. but infairness..i liked that school! .. it's g0od th0ugh!!.. s0me of the students were s0oo0 go0ey and naughty blah blah!damn..!! oh, and guess wut? m0m f0rg0t t0 give me s0me p0unds!! i ended up here s0o hungry!! wehehehee.. whata wiener!!.. blah blah.. s0 classic...,s0 that was it,. t0morr0w im onna g0 back t0 sch0ol at 10.. s0 .. daz ol..tata!

uh huh.. yeah!!
excited?.. a lot.. scared..oh dont ask!!..

my usericons and gallery aren't working anymore.. i need some help!!.. it's like i ruined my css and formats.. god damn it!!.. haha!! wutever!!.. nyek nyek!!..

daz ol for now.. got nuthin t0 do.. im onna check mah Friendster..
tata!!

i dunno..i dunno.. i dunno.. i dunno..
i fucked up.. oops.. sorry..!!
i'm so screwed!!..

i saw, they saw.. i write, they read.. i talk, they comment..in silence.. i can feel it..something is goin' on.. shoot me now. i know what you're up to pally, i can sense it.. i can.. so please, before things will get worst, back off.. go back to where u from at, and shut up. mess w/ me no more, for i fight when needed. be scared coz i'm atrociously evil when my nerves got me.. you may always say that you know me but..there's always but.. u don't..

thunder..thunder..let it hit you. you think i'm bad, yes i am indeed, but i have also my good side. imagine me being good. you can't imagine it. coz people always imagine the bad sides, they can't see the good sides of person, worst is, they try to worsten what's worse and unmind the god ones. bad things are alwas heard of first, and sometimes, never the good ones.

People are fool.. doofus.. crazy.. all screwed.. shoot me!!
secrets.. gossips.. cruel intentions.. aaaahh.. i feel like in that movie, who's tha victim? we don't know.. all i know is that i want to buy The Rasmus cd, you get what i mean? Guilt.. why am i feeling that? I thought i've done the good thing but it felt like i did not. I'm so daft. Shoot me..now. How i wish that thunder on my blog is real..! sucker..!! me big-bully.. me..out of mind.. me.. me.. guilty..delinquent.. contrite..sheepish..

stop! you crazy ass.. u're not worthy of tha blame.. you're blameless.. you just did what you think is right, and if it is right for you then let it be, don't think what other people think it's wrong. .. Shoot me not, shoot them.. They who cracked your code and desecrated your privacy, they will pay for this. you'll see.. so, come on..cheer up.. u don't have to feel that way.. it's what you thought it's right, and lawful. you're only stating your insights.. so, forget about that.. okay..?? goodnight,,

oh.. i'm talking to myself.

p align="center">get it here

im feeling it. there's something goin' on and i know it..
i can see it in their eyes..

tHinK i dunNo wUt iM saYin'?
i diDnt thiNk oF tHat wOrd.. i sHoUld haV kNown mUcH bEttEr..! i sHouLd haV uSed AbsUrdiTy iNstEad oF aBsUrdnEss ..
tHanKz fOr tHa cOmMenT.. i tHougHt tHere's sUch wOrd as aBsuRdnEss aNd i cHecKed tHa diCt. anD tHere is..
oH i'm sorry.. i am no perfect person.. . i'M nOt gOoD iN wOrDz bUt aT lEast i dELivEr tHa mEsSagE n tHa tHouGht is tHeRe.. fOr tHat, i aDmiT..i wAs hUrt.. it mAde mE fEeL dUmB..anD dAft.. nEveR miNd..

---
sHe's sOrRy..
sHe camE bacK.. iM gLaD.. My siSter is bAcK..frOm hEr LuNacY..!! yaHoO..aNd wEre hApPy aGain.. yEah yeaH yeaH..!!! bUt sUmtYms whEn i LoOk at heR..i seE a fAke pErsOn..! i dUnnO..mAybE iM jUst nOt usEd sEeiN' heR aCtiN iN a gooD maNnEr.. iM stiL uNcOnvinCed tHat hEr "paGkaMaLditA" is gOne.. i cAn stiL sEe tRacEs.. tRacEs.. tRacEs..! OoOzinG.. hMmM.. is tHat a wOrd?! befOr sUm1 oPpOsEs?!.. tEL me!!..

+++
HerE..
Oh i haD my nails done tonight and now i just feel like typing! hihihi.. Well.. As i checked my Friendster a while ago my chatmate-turnedto-closefriend gave me a testimonial, ang sweet nya. hehe.. I miss chattin' with him, it's been a long time since we talked.. Man, what a winner in my heart. He is indeed a very very good friend, he never forgets, he always cheers me up, he's always go, and he's all that.. He has lotsa lotsa friends! And his testimonials really speaks up for him, they are all true! I wonder what he's doin' right now? He's always online everyday of the summerdays, but now that he goes to school, he only logs in on weekends, early in tha saturday morning and sunday too, sunday night no more.. Coz next day it would be Monday. .. he needs to rest his fingers and eyes too, and should do his homewok of course.. teteteteeeee.. uhmmm.. wut else? Basta, in general..he is a good guy. One of tha finest boi i've met ever in my whole life..! eNd of stOry!.. hiHi.. if only permitted i will attach his image here but neer mind..

oH tOdaY is 30 na pala.. it's Nicole's day, now! iM oNna gReEt hEr thRu eMaiL.. i mIss tHat cHicA..!! heR nAiLs..hEr mOvEs..hEr evErYtHinG exCept fOr hEr bRuTaLLy hOnesT wOrDz.. bUt i LikE tHa wAy sHe mUrDers pEoPle wiD hEr wOrDz.. nKaKagiGeL..sraP sApaKiN !! haR haR..!!..

***
it's aLmoSt 1:30.. nEed tO sLeeP.. anD giV mY pC a bReaK.!
tAta!!,,
mAdLovEs..pEace.

Last night was the first time I saw my mother being attacked by her heart disease. I was washing the dishes when mom’s friend rushing to me saying that mother is swooning in tears because of die hard stress, and I was thinking of my stonehearted sister. I can’t stop blaming her because in general she is the cause. That was the first thing I thought of when I saw mother. And I don’t know if her tears we’re just fake, she made Him mad and then mother was crying and then she can’t take it anymore so she swooned in pain. What if she was sent to the hospital, it would cost a lot? I don’t know if my sister’s mind is back now, I haven’t spoke w/ her since last night. She’s on an early duty today; she’ll be back later. I want to scold her, and dress her down but never mind, it would get worse. Just leave it all to God. Bahala na. Our elder sister hasn’t informed yet about last night, I’ll tell her tomorrow when she’ll visit here. When I saw mother crying in pain, I was so hurt. I wanted to quarrel w/ my sister and slap her face for she has been so rude and bad. I wanted her to know that mother is so weak but she’s not bothered at all, instead her pride is swarming her. Until now, I can see traces of tears from my mother’s eyes, and I wanted to leave it unnoticed coz I don’t want sadness, I want happiness. All my life, I’ve been so sad and miserable, now, I want to taste joy. I’m fed up being sad and lonely, I’m fed up being screwed and fucked up! We may not have all material things, and can’t have them all at once but at least we can have a happy family, even without father. At least we can be happy and together, that’s what all mother wanted. My sister has gone really absurd in many ways; I hated her sensitive and irritating deeds. Sometimes, I don’t know if I feel envious or just insecure but there are times that when I look at her it feels like she has all, the beauty, the brains, the love and all. But then she’s this ‘maldita’ and I hate her for that. I worked for her, I’ve done her laundries and press them too, help auntie cook, and do the dishwashing too. I even get her a tray of food, and thanks that’s all I’ve got. Yes I know she thanked me but I don’t feel any sincere atmosphere. Instead, I felt like a maid; not a sister anymore. Just a while ago, we had an argument, I’m irritated so I screwed and she threw up mother’s mobile. What a wiener.

Anyway, it’s my cousin’s birthday today. Manuel. He is one of the naughtiest and weirdest cousins we had, but he’s a genius. He’s good in numbers and he’s a pro! But then he has this sickness, and it won’t be cured due to some ineluctable predicaments. I don’t know, they said he has an elf friend and in their house is where he lives. Good or bad elf, I don’t know, I want that elf out of our family. It’s a total catastrophe, and it’s true. Sucker.
Tomorrow is Nicole’s birthday, my plok-plok friend; she’s a great dancer and a pretty kikay girl. I miss her. I hope she’s okay, more than I am.

Got my lunch an hour after I woke up, yeah, that’s lunch. I woke up at 12 because I can’t sleep last night because of what happened. And the heater is turning off so I went and turned it on again. I’m starting to feel the cold here. Though it’s the last week of summer, I can feel the cold now. I know it’s coming. I see no sunshine; I see pale day, thick clouds. Unpredictable it is. Wind blows next it’s rain, and now let’s call it a day.

We’ll go to church at 5, and all of us must go. We need our blessings. We need God. We need peace. And we need LOVE.

This must be our happy ending.
Or so. Not.

On Relationships

"Someone I cared about said to me that maybe he
just can't handle
relationships. And those words broke my heart.
It’s like hearing someone say he'll be an
emotional cripple for the rest of his life
because sustaining any kind of relationships be
it as a friend or a lover is what makes us human.
I don't believe there's "handling" a relationship
as much as "building" one, do you? And then I
came across these... really good reminders if we
want our relationships to stay and for keeps.
God bless everyone!"

1. Don't think in terms of forever. Think of now,
and forever will take care of itself. Recognize
that all relationships cannot be forever.
Recognize their temporary quality, but continue
to act as if they are permanent.

2. Expect to invest a great deal of time and
ene rgy in your relationships. Lasting
relationships don't just happen, they are created.
3. Respect the other person's relationships apart
from you. If they are important to the one you
care about, they should be important to you.

4. Never idealize others. They will never live up
to your expectations.

5. Don't be afraid of giving. You can never give
too much, if you're giving willingly.

6. Never force anyone to do anything for you "in
the name of love." Love is not to be bargained
for.

7. Don't allow experience to harden your heart;
rather use it to become more aware and sensitive.

8. Don't lose touch with the craziness in you.
This, with a large dose of caring, will assure
that your relationship will never be boring.

9. Don't brood. Get on with living and loving. You
don't have forever.

10. Always start a relationship by asking: Do I
have ulterior motives for wanting to relate to < BR>this person?
Is my caring conditional? Am I trying to escape
something? Am I planning t o change the person? Do
I need this person to help me make up for a
deficiency in myself? If your answer to any of
these questions
is "Yes", leave the person alone. He or she is
better off without you.

11. Keep the child in you alive and playing.

12. Divorce, fighting, arguing will never solve
your problems; better to try understanding,
warmth and flexibility.

13. Stop going through life in self-pity, self-
blame and "mea culpa" syndrome. We are not as bad
as we think.

14. Write down all the reasons why you love each
person you relate with. Then, when the going gets
tough, take the list out and reread it. It
resolves problems quickly.

15. Don't be afraid of disagreements and
arguments, the only people who don't argue are
people who don't care or are dead. In fact, don't
have short argument s.
Make certain they are thoroughly over and done
with.
After an argument is over, forget it.

16. Watch out for little irritations, they grow
into destructive monsters. Verbalize them at once.

17. Let go of pride. It is usually false, creates
barriers and prevents closeness.

18. Acknowledge the humanness of the other.

19. Exercise feelings. Feelings have meaning only
as they are expressed in action.

20. Be compassionate. It is the sure way to
understanding and acceptance.

21. See all criticism as positive for it leads to
self-evaluation. You are always free to reject it
if it is unfair or does not apply.

22. Expect what is reasonable, NOT what is
perfect.

23. Stop playing games. A growing relationship can
only be nurtured by GENUINENESS.

24. Even though you are only half of a
relationship,you must remain a whole person,
apart from the relationship.

25. Remember that moral and spiritual values don't
restrict, they PROTECT.

26. What you learn about yourself will infinitely
help in trying to understand others.

27. See problems as small MIRACLES which can bring
about KNOWLEDGE AND CHANGE.

28. Don't allow your relationships to die of
NEGLECT.

********* **********


And Who Saved Love

Once upon a time there was an
island where all the feelings lived;
happiness, sadness, knowledge, and all the
others,
including love.

One day it was announced to all of the feelings
that the
island was going to sink to the bottom of the
ocean. So all the
feelings prepared their boats to leave.

Love was the only one that stayed. She wanted to
preserve
the island paradise until the last possible
moment.

When the island was almost totally under,
love decided it was time to leave.
She began looking for someone to ask for help.
Just then Richness was passing by in a grand
boat. Love asked,
"Richness, Can I come with you on your boat?"
Richness answered,
" I'm sorry, but there is a lot of silver and
gold on my boat
and there would be no room for you anywhere."

Then Love decided to ask Vanity for help who was
passing in
a beautiful vessel. Love cried out,
"Vanity, help me please." "I can't help you",
Vanity said,
"You are all wet and will damage my beautiful
boat."

Next, Love saw Sadness passing by. Love said,
"Sadness, please let me go with you."
Sadness answered, "Love, I'm sorry, but, I just
need to be alone now."

Then, Love saw Happiness. Love cried out,
" Happiness, please take me with you." But
Happiness was so overjoyed
that he didn't hear Love calling to him.

Love began to cry. Then, she heard a voice say,
"Come Love, I will take you with me." It was an
elder.
Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she
forgot to ask the elder
his name. When they arrived on land the elder
went on his way.
Love realized how much she owed the elder.

Love then found Knowledge and asked,
"Who was it that helped me?"

"It was Time", Knowledge answered.
"But why did Time help me when no one else
would?", Love asked.
Knowledge smiled and with deep wisdom and
sincerity, answered,
"Because only Time is capable of understanding
how great Love is."



** inspired?.. You need tha loo! Please hiT it!!..